The world is broken and everything is evil. People are evil, things are evil. People were made to love, and they hate. Things were made to work, and they break. People were made to live and they die. All is evil, all is corrupted. There is no special box in which you can hide where you can escape from the pain of existing.
You can hide on a college campus behind a P.h.D. and drown your students in your sloppy ideals of how people are basically good creatures. You can drive an 'environmentally friendly' car to cut down on all those nasty greenhouse gases. You can even marry a beautiful woman and have a nice, two-story home in the suburbs with environmentally-friendly lighting. You can pay off your mortgage, buy a dog, and live the American dream...
...and then life catches up. You fail one of the little scum-sucking leeches in your class because they don't know how to work and they come back to campus with a gun and give you and four of your students some .45 caliber dental work. Your wife drives your environmentally-friendly SmartCar to the hospital to read your unconscious ass a book of poetry written by another comatose liberal like yourself. On the way, she gets T-boned by a semi-driver who doesn't see the tuna can she's driving behind the hood ornament on his eighty-thousand-pound, nuclear waste hazmat vehicle.
The tangle of plastic and toothpicks that was your SmartCar combined with the jumble of bones and cartilage that was your trophy wife is just enough to blow out all the tires on the right side of the 1998 Freightliner Century and it careens off an embankment and into a river. The cancer rate in the rural communities downstream of the crash quadruples.
The tofu turkey your wife was cooking bursts into flames as she's floating downstream with the radioactive waste and oil spilled by the environmentally unfriendly accident and catches your house on fire. Your two-thousand-dollar Golden Retriever gets fried to a nice golden brown in your dining room along with a framed copy of your Doctorate in Bullshit and the magazines where you have published articles about how we can save the planet with economically friendly light bulbs. The bulbs themselves burst, releasing poisonous mercury into the atmosphere and contribute to mutated seagulls off the coast of guam.
The drunk truck driver swims to shore and sobers up before stumbling into an ER. He is released two days later with some slight bruising and scrapes.
Your least-favorite student spends two years in a mental institution and goes to work for your college as a janitor where he works happily for the next 45 years, writing crime-novels in his spare time.
The end. Welcome to my blog.
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