Please, Don't Care Enough to Read This

It's only natural for people not not give a flying fuck over the things that don't concern them. I don't really care what purses are released this year, what the latest chatter about Brangelina might be, and I don't really want to know what new faggy Indie band that plays songs that are "Omg, so random and just like" might be coming out.



I don't expect other people to give a shit one way or the other about things that I find interesting. Not many people give a fuck if the HK416 has a roller-locking bolt just like the MP5 and a short-stroke piston enabling it to avoid gas buildup and making it much more durable and reliable than the M4, which it was slated to replace.

No one gives a fuck, and if you're still reading, you're probably just blurbing over stuff now, hoping that I will make a comment that is at least somewhat pertinent to your life.

I could have started with an anecdote to get you an emotional connection to something. I could have tried to stagger you with statistics, but these options are both fairly stupid. The world is so big that of course something terrible happened to someone, that you can spend paragraph upon paragraph expounding upon the depressing qualities of their life. In fact, the world is so fucking big, of course there are bad things going on, and lots of them and my life is full of too many pressing engagements to be bothered with your big talk and even bigger numbers.

18,000 kids starve to death every day? Well my stomach hurts because I ate too much banana bread. Try living with that.

And if you have a superhuman attention span and are still reading, you probably expected that I was going to make THE BIG POINT and get to the real meat of my argument and tell you what you need to know.

What a gullible loser you are. Instead, I copypasted a news article about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's most-recently acquired mansion in Italy and a picture that could mean anything. Have a nice day.

Celebrity couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have bought a 40-million-dollar mansion in Italy - the couple''s third home.

They own a luxurious Los Angeles mansion and a 3.5 million dollar French-style home in New Orleans, reports the Daily Mail.

Situated in the Northern Italian hills of Valpolicella, the property boasts 18,000 square feet and 15 bedrooms, seven baths, a movie theater, two swimming pools, a gym and several Jacuzzis.

The property also has stables and a vineyard.

Jolie apparently fell in love with Italy after filming ''The Tourist'' there earlier this year.

She and Brad intend to use the Italian property as a vacation home and continue to use their Loz Feliz house as their main base